Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Australians are Badasses

A Facebook friend just posted this.   

I am no expert on languages/accents,  but this dude sounds Australian.  

Australia has always been somewhere that I have wanted to visit.  It intrigues me; yet it horrifies me at the same time.  

It horrifies me, because several years ago, I read "In a Sunburned Country" by Bill Bryson.  I would highly recommend it.  

(I would recommend Bill Bryson's books, in general, too.  He's awesome.) 

This book was entertaining, but it contained the single most disturbing passage I have ever read in a book.  

Like, ever. 

In my entire life.  

And here it is, for YOU.   Let it disturb you, too.  Let it mill around in your mind.  Think about it.  

And think about what bad asses Australians are.  

"It (Australia) has more things that will kill you than anywhere else.  Of the world's ten most poisonous snakes, all are Australian.  Five of its creatures - the funnel web spider, box jellyfish, blue-ringed octopus, paralysis tick and stonefish - are the most lethal of their type in the world.  This is a country where even the fluffiest of caterpillars can lay you out with a toxic nip, where seashells will not just sting you but actually GO for you.  

Pick up an innocuous cone shell from a Queensland beach, as innocent tourists are all too wont to do, and you will discover than the little fellow inside is not just astoundingly swift and testy but exceedingly venomous.  

If you are not stung or pronged to death in some unexpected manner, you may be fatally chomped by sharks or crocodiles, or carried helplessly out to sea by irresistible currents, or left to stagger to an unhappy death in the baking outback.  It's a tough place." 

Now, watch this father and daughter try to take care of this spider problem on the ceiling of their home.  All by themselves.  With a piece of Tupperware and a stool.  


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