Thursday, November 10, 2011

It's An Accountability Thing

I am  a walking health disaster.   It's embarrassing.

I feel like those people on the show Hoarders, but the "house" is my body.  And the mess that I have been trying to keep hidden for so long has started to spill out and be noticable to everyone else around me.  

If I were on the show for my house, at this point, the smell of putrifying garbage would be noticeable and the health department would be called.  

But people don't generally tell other people that they are fat.   Unless that person is a doctor or a spouse who is trying to be "helpful."  

Most of the time, however, it is not helpful because the fat person already knows that they are fat.   Heavy people are fighting their own battles internally ~ guilt, addiction, self-control battles, shame ~  and to have the outward manifestations of their battles pointed out causes more anxiety on top of what she is already experiencing. 

I saw an acupuncturist this week.   I have realized, however, I can only have so many things done TO me before I need to do things to myself.   

I have been trying to incorporate at least 20 minute walks into my daily routine.  

But... this 20 minute walk thing is really unnerving to me because it is SO far from where I have been.  

I have been a runner, and the 20 minute walk thing is SO UNBELIEVABLY lame.  

Like an ass, I tried to walk with no socks on a few days ago, and it created a blister on the back of my heel that now makes it impossible for me to wear real shoes, even WITH bandages and socks.   Now I am hobbling like a cripple, let alone trying to walk a mile.   

Again, so LAME.  

I am seeing a new doctor next week.  He is doctor of osteopath, and he does adjustments.   He is an hour away; I am willing to drive to see a good doctor.    

I am  looking forward to if all of my problems ~ blood pressure, addictions, depression, could be solved by a spinal manipulation.  

I am also dreading it at the same time.... because I have to see a new doctor who is probably going to be like, "What the HELL is up with your weight?"  

I want to say "I don't understand what is happening to me, what is happening to my metabolism, my body and my mind have gone absolutely haywire."  

My ultimate goal is to be off all of my medication.  I think that a D.O. will get that more than my regular M.D.   

I recently watched Forks Over Knives and I feel that it is possible with diet.    I have "The China Study" coming to me in the mail.  

I tried to eat a meat free diet yesterday, with beans, etc.  I finally caved at about 9pm and inhaled several chicken tenderloins.    I think back with clarity ~ as one does, always, in hindsight:  I should have just gone to bed.  

I wanted to write this because this is definitely my low.   

I want to remember this week ~ put it out there and make my struggle public.

It's an accountablity thing.  

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Attacks on Children and Decency

I feel like the entire world is going crazy.


She's 17.   Hell no. 

 If the ads are like this NOW, I am horrified to think about what they will be when Maggie, my 3 year old, really starts paying attention to clothing ads.

I think "Seventeen" will be permanently banned from my house.

There are 6 & 7 year old girls singing along to this song in their cars all across America.  I admit, it's catchy.  But I have started turning it off because the lyrics are disgusting.  
S&M Lyrics:  Rihanna
Na na naCome onNa na naCome onNa na na na naCome onNa na naCome on, come on, come on
Feels so good being bad (Oh oh oh oh oh)There's no way I'm turning back (Oh oh oh oh oh)Now the pain is my pleasure 'cause nothing could measure (Oh oh oh oh oh)
Love is great, love is fine (Oh oh oh oh oh)Out the box, outta line (Oh oh oh oh oh)The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more (Oh oh oh oh oh)
'Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at itSex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of itSticks and stones may break my bonesBut chains and whips excite me
'Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at itSex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of itSticks and stones may break my bonesBut chains and whips excite me
Na na naCome on, come on, come onI like it-like itCome on, come on, come onI like it-like itCome on, come on, come onI like it-like it (Na na na)Come on, come on, come onI like it-like it

S-S-S & M-M-MS-S-S & M-M-MS-S-S & M-M-MS-S-S & M-M-M
This is who little girls look up to.  (She is HORRIBLE in concert, I have heard.)

I'm never letting my boys go into a bathroom by themselves ever again.  Ever.  Ever, ever EVER.

I am ready to lock my family up and never let them out of the house again.

I feel like decency and family values are under attack.

I have these little peas in my pod and I don't want any of this to reach them or affect them, but I know it will.  It already has.

All I can do is pray for my own children, pray that God will keep them safe and that we make the best choices in life for them.

Statistics regarding teen sexual abuse
While female teenagers are more likely to be sexually abused that male teenagers, cultural, racial and economic factors do not seem to have an effect on the likelihood of becoming a victim of teen sexual abuse. Here are some teen sexual abuse statistics: 
  • 1 in 4 girls (25%) are sexually abused by the age of 18. 
  • 1 in 6 boys (17%) are sexually abused by the age of 18. 
  • Most teen sexual abuse victims (7 in 10, or 70%) know their abuser. It is generally a family member, or someone close to the family. 
  • Of female Americans who are raped, 54 percent of them experience this type of sexual abuse for the first time before they are 18. 
  • A victim of one incident of teen sexual abuse is likely to experience further sexual abuse. 
  • Teenagers account for 51% of all reported sexual abuse 
  • Teenagers between the ages of 16 and 19 are 3.5 times more likely than the general public to be victims of sexual abuse. 
  • 69% of the incidences of teen sexual abuse occur in a residence. 
  • 23% of all sexual offenders are under the age of 18 
  • Female victims of teen sexual abuse while in grades 9 through 12 are more likely than others to experience eating disorders, suicidal behavior, pregnancy and risky sexual behaviors.

  • A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds
  • *More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.2 
  • Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4. 1
  • It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates. 3
  • More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way. 4
  • Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
  • About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse. 5
  • About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder. 5
  • The estimated annual cost of child abuse and neglect in the United States for 2007 is $104 billion. 6