Monday, August 9, 2010

An Update on My Overpriced Under Armour Running Shorts

Just an update on those $29.99 Under Armour shorts I purchased on Saturday.

They don't really "wick away" crotch sweat, nor do they eliminate odor. Those are two things that I come to expect with jogging, so I can live with them. They are part of the "sport" of running (in my case, trudging), if you will.

What I couldn't live with was that after about two minutes, the inner thigh area of the shorts began to creep up.

I did a sneaky little wiggle to get them out, but after about twenty minutes, even the wiggle didn't work and the insides of the shorts were permanently wedged in my crotch area for the remainder of my jog. All 3.25 miles of it.

After about 2 miles, I was too miserable to care what the beefy dudes behind me thought. I was hating life.

I couldn't gather my momentum because my mind was obsessed with the Under Armour shorts and where they were stuck.

My inner thighs began rubbing together and started to chaff. (My body is just made like that...the inner thighs are a problem.) I began to fret, which brought on some bowel issues. I felt impending diarrhea. I felt like crying.

All brought on because of a pair of over priced shorts that, because they are now consider used, I can't take back. Sucks monkey butt.

I'll stick to my non-breathable Nike Basketball shorts, I suppose. I don't look like a "real" runner...I look like a wayward, out of shape WNBA player.

My old shorts are comfortable, and they cost me an entire dollar at Goodwill. Pretty ironic.

The Under Armour shorts ARE remarkably comfortable though. And I can wear them to the grocery store. I can APPEAR to be an athlete, even though I know I'm more of a poser.

1 comment:

Amy said...

I love you.