Valentine's Day Sentiments

 Why, yes.  Yes,  I do need a big  reminder this year.

I love you kids SO much.

But seriously.  Ya'll are the source of a lot of angst.   

For example, I have asked you to stop picking your noses and shoving the finger immediately into your mouth.  I asked you to stop doing it in public, for sure, but especially at restaurants.

(ONE of you is ten years old, dude.)

I need the reminder after the freak-outs and tears at Target.

One of you constantly wants Lego sets and candy.

The other just wants to run away from me and hide in the clothing racks.

And then waits until the cart is overflowing to tell me that you to pee.  El PRONTO.

One of you continues to point out my belly and tell me that it is big.

So, yea.  I need a ginormous reminder this year.

Thanks guys.  I needed to be told that!  

Mercifully, the three year old is only drawing large heads on tiny little stick legs.  So, the "big belly" was omitted.

And this was from the husband.

How he found a card to express his sentiments, exactly?  I don't know.  It was pretty impressive, though.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

May the wait to get into your restaurant of choice tonight not be miserably long.

February 2012 Birchbox

So, last month I signed up for Birchbox and MyGlam.

Both are $10.00.  This includes shipping.

The premise for these services, I suppose, is to ship beauty samples out to potential customers so they can try the products.    I just thought it would be an inexpensive little treat each month to anticipate and if I found something interesting, it would be a bonus.

My first Birchbox arrived today.

The contents and descriptions were:

• Benta Berry/G-1 Moisturizing Face Cream:  This French skincare line is brand-new to the U.S.  Try their all-natural moisturizer, which regulates oil levels and keeps skin matte, full-size $22.
• Eye Rock/Designer Liner: Stop wrestling with the liquid liner and achieve a perfect cat eye with these single-use stick on liner strips.  2 packs of 4, $13.
• Juicy Couture/Viva La Juicy:  This scent will bring out your inner girly girl  Wild berries flirt with mandarin and soft floral notes to create a fragrance that's fun and happy.  Full-size, $69-$89.
• Juice Beauty/Blemish Clearing Serum:  Pesky zits are no match for this high-performing serum.  Salicylic acid purges pores, while organic botanicals purify skin.  Full-seze, $29.
• Lifestyle Extra:  Chuao Chocolatier/ Spicy Maya ChocoPod: Spicy and sweet, these artisanal dark chocolate treats are laced with chile and cayenne pepper.   Full-size, $6
• Birchbox Digital Download:  Six free tunes from Green River Ordinance, an indie rock band poised to ht the spotlight.  

Upon first glance, the kit looks as if it is geared toward someone younger than myself.  The cat eye strips seem to be a very young product...a la Nicki Minaj-ish.   Not my look.  At all.

The Juice Beauty Blemish Clearing Serum is something I may use, although I don't really get pimples anymore.   I might give it to my husband, who is a greaseball.

The Benta Berry Moisturizer appears to be something for oilier skin....it might work during Florida summers when my skin gets shinier.    

I always like perfume samples.  

Chocolate, yes.  

Music download...I'll check them out.  

I know that some people have said the Birchbox is getting a little chintzier, but I am holding out judgement until I have received a few boxes.   

I'm looking forward to the MyGlam shipment.   One of the contributors to MyGlam is Michelle Phan.  Although she is young, I like her fun tutorials on YouTube.  

I will keep you posted on the shipments/products.  Oh, and if you sign up for either of these, let me know.  I think I get credit of some sort for referrals.  

This will be a fun little diversion for me.

Out of the Closet. (At Least Most of my Junk.)

Yesterday, my productiveness was legendary.

I wish I had taken a before and after picture of our walk-in bedroom closet for you.  But since I didn't, allow me describe it.

Not our closet...just a random pic online.
Ours MIGHT have been worse.  

Before:  stacked storage bins and miscellaneous items (purses, bags, dirty laundry) had toppled in the doorway.  Therefore, the entrance to the closet was completely blocked.  Literally. 

The situation occurring past the blockage was pretty bad, too:  garbage, books, CD's, etc.  It was the embarrassment of all embarrassments, in the most spectacular way.  

Generally, no one ever sees our room.  

We keep our shiz together, like 75% of the time, in the area of the house that people will see if they stop by.  

The door to our room remains closed to shifty eyeballs of those who are outside of our family unit, just waiting to judge us on the typhoon-like state of our bedroom.

Fun thing I found #1:
Halloween card from Chris sent
from Iraq.

We went to a Superbowl party at a house last Sunday.  

This party made me realize that just perhaps, we weren't normal.  And that at 30-something we needed to get some of our crap together.  Most specifically, the crap most people would never, ever see. 

 (Gads, let me clarify: I KNOW we aren't normal in more ways than I can count on my two hands.   This post just has to do with cleanliness.)    

The living area of the house we visited was gorgeous and clean.  But whatev, I can do that, too, when we have company coming.   

The epiphany came at some point after halftime when I heard a squeal from Maggie.

She had found a cat in the master bedroom.  

Cats, because of allergies, are something that we are probably never going to own again and have never owned as long as Maggie has been alive.  

In college and grad school we had two phenomal cats:  Happy and Flipper.  They were the best cats.  EVER.  Especially our tuxedo can, Happy, who I am pretty sure believed he was a dog.  

Fun thing #2:  Visitor's Guide.
We were hoping to see Greg Iles.  We didn't.

They had grown up around small children and nothing really fazed them.    They were our entertainment when we were really, really poor.  We recorded them playing on the bed, playing in the bathtub, sleeping, eating....animal lovers know how it is, right?  

We have hours of video of them.   I'm sure  we forced people to view the footage at some point in time.       

So, Maggie usually does backflips when she sees a cat.  And because of her unadulterated enthusiasm, the cat normally freaks out and hides under a bed.  

This cat, however, allowed her to squeeze its face and hug it for quite some time.  I learned later that the sad little thing was thirteen years old, and probably wasn't even able to run away like it truly wanted to.   

And I felt bad about it. 

#3 FLOPPY DISK!

The cat wasn't the epiphany, though.  The cat was in these folks' bedroom.  Which was IMMACULATE.  It looked like a magazine. 

Now, since we have lived in Florida, we have had tours of many houses.  However, 90% of them were inhabited by retired/semi-retired folks. 

And I sort of EXPECT that their houses/rooms would look like Traditional Home magazine.  

However, these people had two small children.   I had just assumed that everyone who had kids had trash and shiz lying everywhere.  

Let me tell you:  even their bedside tables were clutter free.  And their bed was made.  WITH THROW PILLOWS.

This troubled me and inspired me at the same time.   It prompted me to action.

#4:  $30 certificates to Bakers Square.
Are those even open anymore?  Any takers? 

I decided to tackle the most shameful area of my entire house:  the master bedroom closet.

I took some advice, however, of a friend.  She said, "no matter what you do, stay in the room you are cleaning ~as much as you can .  If you need to throw items outside the door to deal with later, you do that."  

This seems like such a simple little thing, right?  Just stay in the freaking room!  

Don't start the closet, then think about the dishwasher that needs to be emptied.  Then distractedly notice that the floors are dirty and vacuum/mop them.  Nor should I even allow the gobs of laundry mocking me inside the laundry room to even inhabit my mind.  Not one teeny bit.    

STAY IN THE DAMN CLOSET.  

#5:  .32 stamps.
What year were THESE from?

I have serious ADD when it comes to cleaning.  I will start one project, drop it, then move to another.  This is why things rarely are finished to  par.  

I was ruthless with my clothes.  I took them out of the bins/off the hangers/out of drawers and inspected every one of them.  No more of the sentimental crap that got me into this mess ~ literally ~ that I was facing yesterday.  

I donated five garbage bags of clothes.  

Really, I wasn't going to wear a mumu, as fun and as comfortable as I thought it looked.  There was no way, if I wanted to stay married to my husband.  For some reason, I think mumus would be the line in the sand and when I start wearing them, it might possibly be the end of my marriage.

I didn't need to keep panties that I wore BEFORE my husband and I ever even met (we've been together 13 years).   

I threw those out, along with any g-strings from that area.    Because...really.  Who the HELL am I kidding?  

So yesterday, I didn't make it out of my pajamas.  That was the price I paid for  digging into the monstrosity first thing in the morning.  I didn't brush my teeth nor did I put deodorant on.  I was FUNKY.  

But I got the job done, pretty much.  There is some tweaking here or there that needs to be done.  I want to organize it a little better and maybe put some closet "systems" in there that make it look classier.  

This is what we got, though.  To some it might look cluttered, but it is a 180 degree difference from where it started.   And believe it or not, it was about 7 hours worth of work.  

I had these hooks in my garage for years and didn't know what to do with them.
THIS MUST have been a Pinterest idea; I don't come up with these ideas on my own.

Monday in St. Augustine

We went to St. Augustine today; one of my favorite places! 

I took some pictures and though I would share.  

Somewhere on a side street.

A church....

Cobblestone streets.

Flags.

I love red doors.

Semi-creepy water fountain.

I thought this was interesting...

Thought the light/colors were pretty.

Old building.

Pretty house.

The sky was so blue and it was 80 degrees today.  

This one was for sale.  

Squirrels and Pinterest

Today, I "liked" this picture of a squirrel.

I also "liked" a hamster on a swing and a meaty picture of Tim Tebow with no sleeves.

How did I find myself "liking" pictures of wild rodents  and insanely popular football players (when I fiercely dislike neither of them)?

Allow me to explain.

Chris, continuing to save us $75 carpet removal fee.

Chris.  Removing carpet.  Saving us $75 on the removal fee.  

We recently cancelled our cable t.v. service.

Granted, this was pretty much our only entertainment (aside from the Internet).

But we couldn't justify the cost.   Our bill last month was a hefty $180.00.

And with THAT sort of cost, we could actually PARTICIPATE in some sort of entertainment; not just sit on our butts and watch it happen.

With Netflix streaming on our Wii, Maggie could watch "Dora the Explorer" AND "Fresh Beat Band" till her little heart was content.

(The Apple TV is still in my realm of consideration, as is Vudu.com.  I already subscribe to Hulu.)

There are entire HOSTS of television alternatives out there at this point in time, that cutting the "cable" umbilical cord hardly hurt.

The tile floors.  They are made to look like hard wood.  

Around this time, we ripped out the carpet of our family room downstairs and acquired a piano.

Done!  This is ceramic tile!  Amazing, right?  

We decided to move the large television with the Wii upstairs for the children to watch.  Ironically, we plugged our bedroom set into the wall and we still have network stations.

Anyway, because I don't want to take the long, arduous trek up the stairs to the second floor to watch the Netflix options, I have found new and fascinating ways to waste my time.

First waste of time:  8tracks.com.

8tracks is a service where people upload their music mixes from their collections and categorize them into playlists for the public to hear.    There are "rock" playlists, as well as "pop," "indie," "chill," "study," "techno," and even "sex."

I am not sure why people would upload a mix called "sex."  I guess that is what differentiates me (37) and the 20-somethings.     

Here is a link to my own contributions to 8tracks.com.   Brilliant, I know.  That Bela Bartok piece on "Dark Matter" is almost like fingernails on a chalkboard....but in an interesting sort of way.

Some "almost after" photos.  Still have more work to do, like something in that corner.  And yea....that's Maggie sleeping in the chair.  

From the foyer.  

From by the front door....where you can't see all the dirty shoes.  

I have been listening and listening....and listening to other peoples' mixes, as well as my own.  Maggie hangs out with me and listens to the music too.  Which MUST be better than Dora, with all her Spanish lessons and all.    

She was bouncing pretty well with her hot dog to Offspring's "Get a Job," on a 90's mix that I found earlier this week at lunch today.     (Upon listening to this again...it probably wasn't the best song for a 3 year old to listening to;  I was all caught up in the nostalgia and memories of the 90's to hear the lyrics and the message of the song.)

Another time consuming activity I have found  a website that rivals the thrill of Facebook, if that is at ALL possible:   Pinterest.

I first heard  about Pinterest at a Christmas party last month.  As it was explained to me,  it sounded really lame.   And you had to ASk for an invitation,  or had to  be invited by someone already on Pinterest.

I received the invitation about a week later and tentatively began to play with it.

I pinned new recipes, neat organization ideas, fun photos, etc.

Like thousands of other housewives on Pinterest, I gathered together the photos of what I SHOULD be doing.  However, instead,  I was parked in front of the laptop putting the ideas together and organizing them into neat little files to use at some future date.

THEN, I realized how thrilling it was to upload a picture or a website I found on my VERY OWN and have someone you DIDN'T EVEN KNOW, RE-PIN it!!!

So, I have been trolling the Internet, looking for new recipes, exciting women's fashion ensembles and quirky photos to share with my Pinterest community.

It is like crack.  Or Diet Coke, if I use a comparison that is in my WASP-ish lifestyle realm.    

Which brought me to my squirrel.

And I had to ~ just HAD TO ~ click on the other entries to this contest.    There were monkeys, lions, tigers and other rodents dressed in armor.  Most of them clearly Photo shopped.

This little bugger, however, looks incredibly real.  And really gets me thinking.. ...

 

Road Trip Misadventures.

We just returned from a road trip to Minnesota.

The kids, the German Shepherd, Chris and I all piled in the sedan like clowns.  We willingly headed north toward the prairie.

Let's backtrack.

The discussion of a road trip began when the Wisconsin Badgers landed themselves in the Rose Bowl.

I care nothing about sports, and bowl games only screw up the viewing schedule on network television.   The husband cared, though.

He cares a LOT.

The more I thought about it, though,  I was up for THAT sort of road trip:  through deserts, mountains, and ultimately Orange County (which I have a bit of fondness for.  It began before Real Housewives of Orange County.  Honestly).

Orange County morphed into Minnesota.

A leap?  Why yes, it is.

We would mooch off of family.

I began warming to the idea of Minnesota in JANUARY.

Then I dusted off my jeans and tried them on.

W.T.H.

Perhaps it was that I have worn  elastic band pants for three years.   Damn those evil elastic waistbands:  they are so COMFORTABLE, yet they hide that one has put on 20 pounds in relative comfort.

 I had NOTHING to wear.

And...a coat?   What coat?  We live in Florida.  I sold them all before we moved here.

We set out, me in inappropriate clothing.   Of COURSE a cardigan and a scarf would keep me warm.  

I had blocked Minnesota cold out, much like one blocks out childbirth and colonoscopies.

We left Orlando after my brother's wedding on a Friday night.  

Within ten minutes we were lost and screaming at each other.  

The toll that was supposed to have been $1 turned into $4 as we backtracked.   Our exit was missing because of road construction.

MISSING!

We tried again.   The kids had found something to hit each other with.  There were feet flailing.  Someone accidentally kicked the dog.  There was yelping.  

This was a ROTTEN idea.

They eventually fell asleep.  When they woke up, we were in the Midwest covered in dog hair.

Perhaps it was all of the dog hair, or the entire tub of Pringles that Wes ate in, like, TWO SECONDS.  But somewhere in the Middle, we heard moaning in the back seat.

"I have a stomach ache."

"What," I screeched.  "What kind of stomach ache," I demanded.  "Do you have to go to the bathroom," I asked.  Or, the horrible, horrible alternative:

"Do you have to throw up?"

"I think I have to throw up," Wes whimpered.  

We opened all of the windows to get air moving, and at the next "safe" area, I pulled the car over.

We sat for several minutes with a ten year old dangling out of the back seat,  unsuccessfully summoning the contents of his belly.

We tentitively continued on.

Not five minutes later I heard wretching.  I looked back and Wes was bent over and throwing up on the floor.

Chaos ensued.

"Get a bag!  Get a bag,"  I yelled.  There was no bag.  Anywhere.

I was swerving, hit gravel and flung stones at the startled minivan behind us.

I rolled his window all the way down.

"Throw up out the window,"  Chris yelled.

"There's a car behind us.  He can't do that," I screamed.

Swerving.

More swerving.

"Throw up out the window," Chris repeated.  Pathetically, Wes stuck his head out the window while vomiting.

A portion of the vomit showered the car behind us, but most of it hit our car and flew back in all over Wesley's shirt, the back window.

Swerving.

Swear words.

Mass confusion in the minivan unfortunate enough to be directly behind us.  

The drive to the next exit was interminable.  As in, we drove at LEAST 25 miles in the middle of no where to find a gas station.

Chris walked in and bought paper towels, Lysol wipes and trash bags.  The small town gas station attendant eyeballed us suspiciously from her place behind the cash register.

Wes stumbled out of the car covered in vomit.  Chris handed him a change of clothing and a trash bag and ordered him inside to clean himself up.   Chris, my angel, cleaned up the mess in the back seat.

We started on the road again a bit more defeated, knowing that our destination was still about 8 hours away.

Driving straight through always seems like such a good idea.  The trip was about 25 hours total, and that included stops.

I distinctly remember how much easier these marathons were for us in our 20's.  We would drive and drive and bounce back.

The German Shepherd and the Norweigan Elkhound sort of got along....

We arrived home yesterday.

I loved every minute in Minnesota and was so happy to spend time with my husband's family.  Not everyone can say that about their inlaws....but I am blessed beyond belief that I definitely can.

I was able to hold my twin nieces that I hadn't seen before, and watch Maggie play with her cousin.  They are both three and fought like cats and dogs... both of them challenged by the concept of "sharing."

They sled together and played "house."   They took videos and pictures of each other on the  Mac's Photo Booth.

The first night home, I crawled into my bed....so happy to be home.  Only to be woken up by hacking and croupy coughing from Maggie.  Then my husband kept waking me up to tell me to stop snoring.    Each time I would wake up, I would be covered in drool; I was sleeping so deeply.

Chris suggested that this could be a yearly thing.

I looked at my hands that are chapped and dry, my sinuses were dry and are painful ~  my skin is flaking.  I have cankles.

I think I need a year to recover.

We'll discuss it in 2013.

The divas:  no photos!

Wordless Wednesday (Things that Made me Laugh This Morning)

Dammit.  When I got into the car, I was seriously intending on running stop signs and barreling over some pedestrians.  But then I saw this message, and  was reminded to.....not.   (FYI, this was my sister-in-law's car.  I had to take a pic.)

 

And, this is an old video, but I just saw it this week.  And although it is pretty sad, it is hilarious at thesame time:
Drunk Guy in Store