Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Thoughts and Quests

I am currently in the middle of filling out a "secret sister" form for church. I have been stuck for days on the "hobbies/interests" question.

I don't have any hobbies and I don't have time for interests. The unfortunate soul who receives my name as secret sister won't have the advantage of easily refering to my list for gift ideas.

I currently feel that I can barely maintain my household. I am actually sort of worried that having a "secret sister" will wig me out a little bit. I know how I am with remembering people's birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I suck.

My secret sister is doomed

Putting aside the hobbies/interest mind-bender for a moment, I thought I would jot a few thoughts down.

1.) Most of my day revolves around a screaming toddler. It is consumed with trying to figure out what exactly I can do to placate her.

I often wonder what created such a malcontent, but I can't think of anything specific. Chris thinks she is reacting to the amount of stress I exude; I think it might just be her personality ~ demanding, loud, high strung.

2.) Even though I don't think that I consume the amount of calories it would take to attain and maintain my current weight, I must. Otherwise, the weight would be falling off.

I can run my little heart out for miles and miles every day and nothing will happen if I don't stop putting loads of delightful crunchy things on top of my salads and shoving chips into my mouth before bedtime.

3.) It doesn't matter if I measure every single day. I probably won't see a change in my waist/hip size. Particularly when I eat chips at bedtime and load my salads with yummy crunchy things.

4.) On a related note, my weight. Refer to #3 and replace "measure" with "weigh."

5.) The refrigerator I want for our new house will inevitably cost 2,500.00, or more. There are cheaper alternatives, of course, but my eye will go to the one that is the prettiest, most tricked out, most expensive.

6.) Like the refrigerator, I am pretty sure that the car w/ third row seat that I want will most likely be a Mercedes.

7.) I visualize shaking my 8 year old until his teeth rattle out of frustration every day. It makes me feel better, for a moment, to visualize this because I know I will never do it.

8.) Angelina Jolie is a skinny little bitch and is probably starving. Our visit to the Potter's wax museum hit this one home.

And Brad Pitt is shorter than I am and looks like a Backstreet Boy. Perhaps it is the artist's interpretation of Brad Pitt but from what I understand, the wax sculptures are fairly accurate.

9.) No matter what I do or how hard I try to control/manage everything, I will inevitably run out of spending money (and toilet paper) before our next paycheck.

There will be flipping out at any suggestion my husband makes to "go somewhere" or "get something to eat." I will shriek, "We can't do ANYTHING, we have no MONEY for GAS!!!"

10.) Dishes are my least favorite chore and there is usually a sink full of them on any given moment during the day.

And normally, I need to watch an episode of "Hoarders" to get me motivated to mop the floor.

I'm deathly afraid of ending up like some of these people ~ harnessed to the medical toilet in the middle of the kitchen, snoozing amongst the filth of adult diapers. All the while flesh eating bugs are eating away at my toes (recent episode. One that has to be seen to be believed).

I have a feeling that the beginning of a slippery slope slide towards doom is easier than one might think. I have found this out with my weight issue.

"Oh, I'll just eat the pint of Cherry Garcia," I said. And, "Sure, just give me another helping of that delightful spaghetti."

The next thing I knew, I was shopping in the big momma department and was wheezing when I climbed a flight of stairs. Fat happened so quickly, and I can only assume that filth and flesh eating bugs in one's house can happen very quickly, also.

I better get back to filling out my secret sister form. If anyone has some ideas of hobbies that might accrue some interesting gifts, feel free to advise me in the comments below.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Reading and running are hobbies/interests. I am like you - no real hobbies except reading and watching tv. (I think I will stay away from "Hoarders" - that would creep me out!!