Heidi Klum and Fat Sticks

I want to look like THIS.

I mean, really. Hasn't she had, like, six kids by now?

This is why life is not fair.

COME ON. I'm German, too!

But I guess I must come from the lineage that tended to be chubby and feasted on bratwursts, potato salad and dumplings.

(Shakes fist at the heavens.)

Heidi Klum drops a baby and two weeks later, she models in a Victoria's Secret fashion show.

Meanwhile, I was hit with a fat stick and super taste buds and often need blocks of cheese and French onion sour cream dip to even get through my day.

Seriously. Not fair.

End of tantrum.